I was only 38 weeks and one day pregnant when you decided to come. I guess because I assumed I would go "late" like most first babies, I hadn't really even begun wrap my head around what was about to happen to my life. It was 7 o'clock in the morning when I woke up to pee, like I did 10 times a night, and the minute my feet hit the floor and I stood up my water broke! I was in such shock, I stood there for a few minutes wanting to make certain I wasn't peeing all over the floor, and this in fact was what I thought it was! Your Dad was in the bathroom getting ready for work, when I ran in and screamed that my water had broke. He had this look on his face that I will never forget. Pure and utter shock, like he hadn't thought this day would ever come. I called the doctor, and got in the shower, while your Dad ran around like a nervous wreck packing a bag for the hospital.
I never started contracting on my own, but that whole car ride to the hospital, I was holding my breath just waiting for this extreme pain to start. We got to triage around 8:30am and they started me on pitocin, got us a room, and told us we were going to be in for a long day. First baby, induced labor, only 1 cm dilated = a loooooooog labor process, we were told. The nurse said you would most likely not even be born until the next day. They told me I could have an epidural when I reached 4cm, but assured me that wouldn't be for awhile, so they told us to sit tight and try to get some rest.
By 11am I was in so much pain, that I couldn't even believe that people had children without pain medicine. I looked at the clock and realized only 2 hours had gone by, and thought there was no way I was 4cm already, but there was also no way I was waiting one more minute for some pain relief. With some begging and pleading, the checked me, and I was almost 5cm, and I got an epidural right away! I was in heaven after that. I could finally relax, try to get some sleep, and I knew your Dad felt so much better not seeing me in so much pain. We turned down the lights and just when I started to doze off, they told me they need to check my progress.
It was 2pm and I was 10cm dilated and they told me it was time to get ready to push! 10cm already! I could hardly believe it. It was all happening so fast! They said it was going to take all day, and I had barely been in the hospital for 5 hours!
Pushing was the hardest thing in the world. They had to turn down my epidural, and then turn it off for me to be able to feel when to push. It was the most pain I had ever felt in my entire life. For 2 and half hours I pushed. I cried, I screamed, I thought you would never come out. I was exhausted, scared, and worried about you, but then I looked up at your Dad, and he said "she's right there, and she has black hair, you are doing so great." He held my leg the whole time, encouraging me when I needed it, and helping me in anyway that he could. I couldn't believe we were about to be parents.
At 5:00 on the dot, a mere 10 hours after my water broke that morning, you took your first breath. They placed you on my chest and....the....world.....just.....stopped. I cried and I remember thinking "somebody pinch me, because this has to be a dream, the most amazing dream". The room was silent, and my life was forever changed. You were perfect and all mine. Everything I knew I always wanted was here. You cried, but not for long, and they whisked you away to clean you off, and I remember your Dad kissing me, and then running to be with you. At that moment his heart became yours.
You were 5 pounds 10 ounces and 19 and half inches long. I couldn't believe how small you were, and how hard it was to push you out. After they cleaned you up, they handed you to your Dad, and he was so in love. He walked over to me, and handed you to me. I melted. I couldn't believe that you were here, and you were mine, and you were healthy, and perfect, and I was a mother. A mother. I was a mother. You were my daughter, and I was your mother. We sat and held you for about a half hour before letting anyone else come in. You were so awake and alert, and your eyes were the most amazing eyes I had ever seen. They locked on to my eyes and they were the darkest little eyes, it was as if you were looking into my soul, like we had met once before, and were seeing one another for the first time in a long time. I must be in heaven.
Mimi, Poppy, Bulya and Dulya were all waiting to come in and meet you. Poppy held you first, and everyone cried out of pure happiness when they saw you for the first time. Your Dad was so proud of you and showed you off with such beaming pride.
Tuesday October 13th, 2009 at 5:00 on the dot my life was forever changed in the most amazing way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than I thought it was humanly possible to love somebody. You make my life so complete and perfect. I am so blessed to have you as my daughter, Michaela. Happy First Birthday to my beautiful miracle baby.
